My no-good, horrible, very-bad day, OR how the girls saved the day.

Long post alert: (it takes a long time to get this much stress through the fingertips.)
  
Are we sure today isn't a Monday? Maybe it's the rain, maybe the planets and stars are out of alignment or whatever,  but it just hasn't been a good day for me.  Maybe I whined too much yesterday and this is punishment. It started out just fine. By that, I mean I woke up and got out of bed. Some aren't so lucky, I realize.  I putzed around, took care of the little chicks, checked Facebook and my emails, had a bite of breakfast and went out to feed the dogs. No dog food. The cupboard was totally bare and they were looking up at me with longing eyes. Dang it!! Bad Mommy!! I had been putting off making the trip to Mt. Zion until I heard from the accountant with the bad news. I knew I would have to head north at some point, and with the price of gas and all....!  So, I came in and used a dozen eggs to make one huge omelet.  I divided it up between the two big dogs and I'm sure the girls and cats got some tidbits, too. Why can't dogs eat grass?  That would solve lots of my problems around here. I was just hoping to tide them over with the eggs.  So now it's around 8:30 and the phone rings.  The accountant. I forgot they work around the clock  when it gets this late in the tax season. They were finished and he had the information to file electronically, if I wanted to do an automatic bank draft from the checking account.  Let me think.....has Fort Knox made a delivery lately?    OMG!!!!!!!!!!..........I see an appointment with an offshore bank rep in our future, or at the very least a diligent search for some significant deductions of some kind. Maybe I'll adopt all the kids in Haiti or something. Trust me, we are NOT in the 1%, but since DH has retired, we don't have the major farm expenses we used to have for deductions from the gross income. Lordy, Lordy.  Once I recovered from that shock, the dogs were fed, and my mood had improved, I decided I needed to bake up the rest of the dough that had been languishing in the fridge. Cold dough takes about 90 minutes to warm up and raise to baking level, so I shaped it and got it ready to go.  The time arrived, and the oven was pre-heated to 450 degrees, so in it went, and the timer was set at 25 minutes.  Hubby's lunch was ready, the bread was baking, and a short discussion about the shopping list later, I was out the door. It wasn't until I was pushing a cart through Rural King that it hit me like a ton of bricks.......THE BREAD.....I had forgotten to take the bread out of the oven, and it was baking at 450 freaking degrees. I paused for a second to imagine how long it would take to go from being a heavenly, crusty loaf of artisan bread to a charred brickbat, then to a flaming exploding chunk of carbon, ready to consume our home and all the wonderful sentimental items in it. I must call home. It was 12:48.  I mention that because it's pertinent to the frustration I was feeling. Oh, no!!!  Gunsmoke isn't over yet and it was a given that DH was happily munching and watching Festus and Doc jab at each other.  LOUDLY.  He needs a hearing aid. At least one. I called home and got my own voice on the answering machine. I tried repeatedly, then finally called a neighbor lady, with instructions to PAHLEEZE go to my house and turn off the oven..I tried calling home one more time, and this time got DH. He turned off the oven just before the neighbor got there.  Whew. One disaster averted. Little did I know...................I'm embarrassed to go on.  Let's just say it involved a cartload of groceries at Aldi's (who only accepts cash and debit cards), and a denial on the debit account.  Put the chicken and ham back. Denied. Put the cereal and chocolate bars back. Denied. Put the kitty litter back. Denied. I hate the cat anyway, and I hated her more now.  Finally, to save myself further humiliation (and all the while noticing out of my peripheral vision the sneers and squinty eyes of the other shoppers in line because it's a Saturday and they are VERY busy) I just bailed. Apologizing profusely, I left. They said they'd put it away. I KNOW I have money in that account. It's exclusively for Aldi's, gas stations, and the very occasional lunch out.  I went to Walmart, where they graciously accept checks.  So, I've burned the bread, starved the dogs, and ditched the cheap bennies.All in one sad day.  On a positive note, the house didn't burn down, the dogs now have food, the baby chicks have their starter food and a better waterer, and time should fade the memory of the bruised ego and red-faced embarrassment of the Aldi's excursion. Oh, I bought some oatmeal-raisin cookies and ate three of them on the way home. It was raining today, and when I got home what did DH say?  "your hair's flat."  Bang-Zoom

p.s.  DS pointed out that I forgot to say "Blessings". So here it is: Blessings, Brenda
p.p.s I promise to not post again until I can be skipping-through-the-tulips-happy about something. I'll go put on my rose-colored glasses now.  I knew you'd understand.